Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Un-Mother's Day

Well, it's Mother's Day. While I am certainly glad to be able to celebrate my awesome Mom and my mother-in-law on this day, it's not exactly my favorite holiday. Last year it had only been a few months, so this holiday didn't bother me. This year, well it's a reminder that I'm still not at the place I thought I would be when we started this journey. It's a reminder that (seemingly) all of my friends are celebrating Mother's Day. It's a reminder that I may just be the only person on Facebook that doesn't have a picture of my uterus for all to see.

So to celebrate my un-Mother's Day I have scheduled myself for a massage and I've got a stack of magazines I plan to read while laying in the sun. It's likely I'll have a glass of wine or two as well, ha! take that pregnant ladies! What will I not be doing? Going to church. I know, I know. This is a controversial topic in the infertility circle, but to tell the truth, I just don't think I can handle going to a celebration of motherhood. Maybe one day.

Serious reads:
The Invisible Disability: When Mother's Day Hurts
Mother's Day: A Cultural Crucible
A light read:
You Have a Fertility Appointment on Mother's Day

13 comments:

Courtney said...

Thanks for this post.

My husband and I have been trying to adopt for over a year. Today sucks.

I skipped church too, ate a candy bar for lunch, and am watching tv in my pajamas. Wine is definitely on my agenda too.

Hang in there.

Alison said...

I came across your blog awhile ago via military wife I met while living in Okinawa (that's a random story too). Anyway, love your blog and have been so sad about your recent posts....my best friend had some trouble with miscarriages and we came across this info on stomach massages...I got them in Japan for heartburn, but after I read all this http://www.mayamassage.co.uk/ she tried it and was pregnant 3 months later....not a cure all I'm sure, but maybe worth a shot :) I'll be praying for you as you travel this tough road!

B. Wilson said...

Part of the skipping church community. Not feeling all that joyous to celebrate a day about mothers when my only child died.

No thanks, Hallmark.

Though you're right... it's a day I am happy to still show thanks for my mom and MIL. They are wonderful and they are great mothers. Now the rest of the mothers out there and especially those showing their uteri (plural?) on facebook, avoid, avoid, avoid.

Enjoy your wine!

Jane said...

I'm jealous of your wine. I'm just feeling sorry for myself while studying psych disorders ... and halfway convincing myself that each and everyone applies to me. Have a glass for me!

Monica said...

I don't blame you for skipping church. I sincerely hope that one day your dreams of motherhood will be fulfilled in one way or another.

Pamela said...

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I had four of those mother's days while trying to conceive and I know they're utterly painful. Praying you get to welcome a child into your family soon.

Becca said...

Came across your blog through another milspouse blog...I have enjoyed reading your posts, and I just wanted to chime in and say thank you for this post. My BFF/Sister-in-Law had multiple miscarriages before giving birth to my nephew. Women are so amazingly strong to go through this and to talk about it with one another. I also understand not wanting to go to church on Mother's Day. Hope you enjoyed your wine, and I wish you the best. Thanks again for sharing/posting on this topic. You're very brave.

The Rest is Still Unwritten said...

I hope you get to celebrate Mother's Day soon. And I hope you had a glass or 3 for me!

Flakymn said...

We skipped church every mother's day. We always went canoeing -- somewhere where we couldn't see flowers on any shirts. It's not just infertility that makes it hard. Bad relationships with moms or moms who have passed away is hard too. Some churches do it better than others. (But the chapel was brimming with "stuff" yesterday.) I actually could not bring myself to stand when they asked the mothers to. It still just hurts me too much to think of how many people are hurting.

Melinda Lillis said...

I am a part of the "no church" club on Mothers day too! No guilt here! Following you (of course found you through the lovely HP ladies.)

Now an Air Force Wife and Mommy!! said...

I had a hard time going to church period when we were trying to conceive. I still to this day have a hard time going. I'm hoping one day I'll get over it but we'll see...

We were blessed with a child through adoption, but its still hard to see all the prego women and what not....

I hope your dream of being a mother comes true for you no matter how your family is come to be made :)

Jennifer said...

Ran across your blog!! CUUUTE CUTE!! Animals have such a hard life!! I have two fur babies! I have a lil 4 month old golden retriever and a black cat thats about 7 years old!! :D

~Hurricane B~ said...

After reading more of your blog entries I hope my comment of "have fun trying" did not come as snarky. I meant it to be funny and since I did not and do not know you...I usually go for the light and fun comments at first. I see that this is truly something you are battling with and I hope and pray that all these prayers and good thoughts help you out.

Also I don't blame you for not wanting to get out there to all that Mother Day stuff. My husband and I do not have children yet, we wanted to start trying this year. BUt due to the messed up situation that is known as my mother we have had guardianship of my three younger siblings for two years now...honestly we can not afford to have our own right now and have no room in our house literally. No extra rooms.=) Le Sigh. So not comparing it in anyway since we are not actively trying just mentioning it because I too drink on Mothers Day and stay up late.=) Because I CAN! Hugs