So last week we had the egg retrieval (ER) for our first round of IVF. For weeks you take medicine to help you produce eggs, and then they take them out. Yes, it is as lovely as it seems. Especially when you have 22 eggs. Although I won't be sharing a ton of details about the process (yet?), I did want to share the ER experience with you...
The egg retrieval took place this morning, and I'm glad it's done! We went in the clinic and got started right away. Since it is time sensitive everything has to happen on the exact schedule. They put me in a beautiful gown and sexy Turkish slippers and we were off. No translator in the operating room, so I got really nervous until the Dr. came in. The anesthesiologist (who did speak English) had to try both arms, which eased my stress a lot. I did not start crying and stayed totally calm. The non-English speaking nurses did not feel compelled to pat me as I laid on a table with my legs in the air and my arms strapped down. Nope. Not at all. Cool as a cucumber. Anyway, the medicine did its job and I was out like a light. I don't remember it, but apparently when they were wheeling me out I saw Jordan and pointed at him and said, "YOU!" Oops. A little repressed anger? :)
No worries because I continued to make a fool out of myself back in the recovery area when I was talking to the non-English speaking nurse and could only remember one bad word in Turkish to communicate the feeling in my ovaries. So yes, I said "eshek" over and over while pointing at my uterus. What does that mean you ask? Donkey, of course! It was a high point. Or maybe the high point was when they offered me a bed pan and I refused and instead found myself sitting in the bathroom with one nurse holding my IV bag and one holding my arm straight. It's a tough call as to which is best. The translator came in after that and ask me if I liked the nurse. I had to explain that the donkey comment was for my uterus, and not for her. Luckily she thought it was hilarious that the white girl knew a bad word in Turkish. (Side note: That nurse loves me now! We bonded over donkey!)
And so ends my ER experience. You have to laugh at yourself at some point during this crazy process, right? Let's just hope I can look back and laugh on it all, and more importantly, that I don't have to do it again!