I'm starting to feel better, slowly but surely. All this time laying around got me thinking. That's never good.
I'm sure you have heard it. "Well, my husbands an officer."
"At least your deployment is only 6 months. I have already been through 2 12 month deployments."
"Why isn't your husband a pilot?"
"Oh, your Air Force, that explains a lot."
"I sure wish my husband had a desk job."
"I didn't realize your husband was only a reservist."
Blah blah blah, the list goes on.
So when does it stop? When will we as spouses stop playing this "trump" game with who has is the worst. Truth is, someone always has it worse than you. Your husband has been on 4 deployments? Hers has done 5. Your husband is combat? Hers is EOD. Your husband came home? Hers did not.
Why can we not simply support each other in whatever current state our fellow spouse is in. Maybe it's "only" a TDY, but your first long separation can be difficult. Maybe your husband is Air Force and her husband is Army, does it really matter? (Well, when Will and Sarah give us a hard time it does. Go Air Force!)
Just like in every other factor we can't control, we need to respect the differences. Differences that do not make us better or worse than another spouse. Differences that do not align with the level of respect we are to be given. We are all coming to the table with different experience and strengths. Should someone not be allowed at the table at all simply because their story doesn't align with yours? I think not.
We do not wear rank. (Okay, most of us. Unless you have the purse.) We do not have patches. When will wives stop the attempt to wear their husbands service as a badge? Yes, we should all be proud. Truth is, we still have not earned the right to wear the uniform, but they have.
So I'm stopping it here. Now. Let it go. We are all in this together. Sometimes this life sucks, sometimes it's great. The cool thing is? We have a built in group of other wives who understand us. Who can help us. Stop the trump game and just be satisfied. Just be.