Fashion Week

I keep seeing all these Pinterest pins and blogs about mom fashion. Except their mom fashion looks nothing like my mom fashion. For one, I don't shop all the time, so my closet doesn't have all the latest trends. Plus, I often get ready during naps so I have to decide if it's worth it to use the entire nap in order to go to Target looking like a magazine ad. My usual decision...no.

Please tell me I'm not the only one! Anyone else?

Well, for anyone else out there like me that doesn't wear booty shorts and a statement necklace through Target or have a professional photographer to take my fashion photo, here is MY fashion week...

Day 1: Target

Shirt- Target, old

 Tank- Express, old

Jeans- Levi's 528 Bootcut Curvy Fit (HIGHLY recommend. No crack showing!)

Baby- Cute, new

Day 2: Doctor's Office

Shirt- Old Navy, old

Skirt- Old Navy Jersey Skirt (worn through entire pregnancy too), old

Necklace- Chew Beads, AWESOME

 

Day 3: Running

Shirt- Target

Skirt- Gap Body

Face- Sweaty

 Day 4: Somewhere fancy, apparently 

Dress- Gap, last year, super clearance

Sweater- Gap, old

Baby- Amazed by phone

 

Day 5: Playdate in the Park, running late

Shirt- Banana Republic

Tank- Express

Shorts- Gap, fit over post-pregnancy behind

 Day 6: Running, okay, that's a lie, I went nowhere.

Shirt- Free 5K shirt (in which I placed 3rd in my age group!)

Pants- Yoga, Old Navy

Headband- Sweaty Band (AWESOME)

 Day 7: Target, again

Shirt- Gap, old

Tank- Express, probably same one from day 6

Jeans- Levi's 529

So what have we learned here?
1. I have a thing for solid colored short sleeve V necks.
2. My baby gets way more new clothes than I do.
3. Bangs were a mistake and growing them out stinks.

I know you are totally inspired, so go out and get a v-neck and some yoga pants.

Natural Doesn't Mean Easy

Actual Google searches from my first weeks as a mom:
"Breastfeeding is hard"
"Breastfeeding sucks"
"When does breastfeeding get easier"
"Exclusive pumping"
"can nipp1e$ fall off"

I can't even tell you how many times I wanted to give up in those first few weeks. It took him 90 minutes to eat, and 30 minutes later he was ready to eat again. I felt like I shouldn't even bother putting a shirt on, much less laying down to rest. I was sore, I hurt, and the doctor kept saying he wasn't gaining weight. I went to a lactation group and felt so encouraged, then after being home a few hours it was back to the self-doubt and the pity party.

Pouty, table of one?

Everything I found online said it would be easier at three months or 6 weeks. Everyone suggested the Kelly Mom site, which basically told me to nurse all day every day. I felt like I was drowning. I wanted to give up so very badly, but I had a goal, make it to 6 weeks.

I feel like this is something people don't talk about. Certainly it's not something people tell you about before hand. You are tired from giving birth and now you have to try to figure out this very difficult process. You know it's what's best for your baby, but can you make it? YOU CAN! If you are having trouble, here's what you need to know.

 1. Get Help
I can't stress this enough. Find a Lactation Consultant and a Lactation Group that you like. Not all of them are created equal. My first hospital LC was terrible and left me in tears. The LCs and group I found after discharge were a God-send. An LC at that group found that Deacon had a tongue tie. Once we got it fixed he doubled his intake that same day and my nipples stopped feeling like they would fall off. They help with latch, positions, and encouragement. My LCs were also RNs, so they even gave me tips on circumcision care and diaper changes. The group itself was also a huge blessing. Seeing other mothers nursing (without covers) and seeing those further in the journey was such a blessing. If you find one you don't like, get another one! If you go to a LLL meeting and find a bunch of nipple nazis, LEAVE! Find one that helps you and meets your needs.

 2. It's true, it WILL get better!
If you are just starting to breastfeed or are having trouble- here's what you need to know...IT GETS BETTER. There will be a day down the road when it will be easier to feed your child than it will be to make a bottle of formula. There will be a day when your child can crawl to you, nurse for 10 minutes, and then be on his way. BUT, to get there you have to stick it out through the tough parts. Through the low supply, hurt nipple, engorgement...you have to make it through this part to get there. And I know, right now it seems like the good part is SO far away, but time will pass quicker than you think.

Deacon shares his feelings on the subject.

3. Give Yourself a Goal
Many days, this was the only thing that kept me going. I HAD to make it to 6 weeks. That was my first goal. When I though I couldn't make it 6 more minutes, I would tell myself that if at 6 weeks it wasn't working, I could quit. You know what I found? Every 2 weeks it got easier. By 4 weeks I could see the light. At 6 weeks I felt like I could make it to my next goal, 6 months. At 6 months it was going so well I didn't even think about stopping. I made it through the suck, I was going to enjoy the good times. So are you in week one? Just keep plugging along. Make it to 6 weeks. That's your goal (for now).

4. Formula is not the devil, but...
I can't tell you how many times people are told to just give formula when times get tough. Can you do that? Certainly, and I have too. The trick is that if you really want to breastfeed you can't allow yourself to rely on that. It has to be a HELP and not a CRUTCH. When you do it continuously, your body will respond by decreasing your supply and it will take a lot of hard work to get it back. Many times once moms feel strong enough to try to reestablish supply, it can be too late. So if you need a supplement now and it again, don't beat yourself up, but don't get dependent on it. Your body (with a few medical exceptions) is capable of producing all the food your baby needs....but you have to let it! There was a time early on when I had to pump after every single feeding and then give him that bottle. So I fed for an hour and a half, then pumped for 20 minutes, then gave him the bottle for 20 minutes. Could I have topped him off with formula each time? Yes, and it would have been easier. BUT, my body never would have upped my supply because I wasn't telling it to. Tough love- don't let yourself use supply as an excuse if you aren't willing to put in the work to try to fix it.

5. It's not all your fault.
I feel like there is so much mom guilt that goes with breastfeeding. If your child cries, doesn't sleep, spits up, doesn't gain weight...it's all blamed on you and your milk. That's a lot of pressure! Many times we allow that mom guilt or our overwhelming tiredness to take over, and we make decisions that aren't the best. However, I can tell you from experience, if you stick with it and aren't afraid to ask for help, you can get to the happy place. Sure, it might be your diet, but it might also be an issue with your baby's digestive system or latch. You are trying to do what's best, remember that.

Nothing better than milk coma snuggles.

6. Find Support
A support system is a HUGE component of breastfeeding success. It is so important to have people around you who are supportive of your decision. Your husband is a key part of that group! Make sure he understands why breastfeeding is important. (Of course, if he's like my husband a key factor in supporting you might be the cost of formula! Ha!) In those first weeks my husband woke up with me and baby all through the night and he sat with me while I fed him (and cried). Just having him there gave me the support I needed to make it. Get your husband on board!  But not just him, others too. My Dad was a huge help by fully supporting my uncovered nursing at home. He didn't make me feel awkward or like I needed to hide away. Many dads wouldn't feel that way. If I felt like I had to be in a cave, I certainly would not have made it to nearly a year. I also was blessed with several friends who were a text, phone call, or email away- all offering support, encouragement, and advice. Plus, when I moved to SC I found a great neighbor who was also nursing and we quickly bonded over that journey. If you don't have friends like this around, reach out to support groups online.

7. Remind yourself, BREAST IS BEST!
God has a specifically designed a perfect food for your baby. It offers immunities and nutrition. It provides a special way for a mother and baby to bond. Breastfeeding reduces your risk of breast cancer, reduces your child's risk of obesity, helps you lose your baby weight, is associated with higher childhood IQs, is the easiest way to comfort a fussy/sick child, produces less trash/waste for the environment, and it keeps your period away. Breast milk is easier to digest, tastes sweeter, changes to meet your baby's nutritional needs, lowers asthma risks, lowers allergy risks, is FREE, has never been recalled, smells better than formula, and can be used for everything from diaper rash to pink eye! BAM.

8. Be Brave!
You do not need to sit at home alone with your baby all day every day because you are nursing. You have your baby's food ready to go and always at the perfect temperature. No need to be near a bottle warmer! State laws allow you to nurse anywhere you are allowed to be. Employers must offer you a place to nurse or pump in private. You don't have to nurse with a cover if you find it difficult! If you prefer a quiet place, fitting rooms and your car offer great options on the go. I can't tell you how many people I've had come up to me and compliment me while I'm feeding Deacon. I tend to use a cover for my own comfort, but people have been so encouraging. I've also found that many stores and churches offer lovely nursing areas. You can do it! 

A lovely shot of me nursing on the go. I had been walking around,
but I took a break while we waited on friends.
Would you ever think I was nursing if you saw me?
You'd probably guess the baby was sleeping!

Mom Favorites

As a new mom there are a plethora of options, not just for your baby, but for you! How do you know what to pick? What helps and what just adds to the clutter? While I don't have all the answers, I hope I can help a little by sharing my favorites. And no, I'm not being paid to say this, but if any of these companies want to pay me, I gladly accept checks. And gift cards. And wine.

1. Baby Connect App-This app is AWESOME! It can be used on your Iphone, Ipad, and online. It tracks EVERYTHING. Especially at first, it was great to know when he last nursed, how many dirty diapers he had each day, when he had doctor visits, etc. Plus, if you have multiple caregivers, each can enter throughout the day, which would be nice for anyone with a nanny/daycare situation. I still use it for well visits and tracking percentiles.

2. Glamour Mom Nursing Tanks I was a tank-top wearer pre-Deacon. Mostly it had to do with my disdain for short tops, but comfort was a part too. Now, while breastfeeding, I LIVE in tank tops. It's the easiest thing, particularly for nursing in public. If I am wearing a normal top I can pull it up but stay covered. These tops are by far the BEST around. They are long, come in full bust sizes, are easy to open, wash and wear well, AND they even have a tummy control version. Love.

3. Soothies A MUST for breastfeeding moms! And a must purchase before you need them. You don't want to be caught without. These gel pads go inside your bra and work miracles.

4. Lilly Pads When you are first breastfeeding you will leak. And you will have to wear pads. And these pads are all sorts of wrinkly and obvious when you wear fitted shirts. These are super smooth, and reusable, and they don't just absorb the leak, they stop it. A must.

5. Lanolin A miracle cream that you should start applying after every feeding from day 1. Bonus- it makes a fabulous lip gloss. And baby hair gel. And cream for the blister you gave yourself while working the yard (never again). And diaper rash cream.

6. Giant Sippy Cup- The hospital should provide you with a giant adult sippy cup. TAKE IT HOME WITH YOU. That is the best cup ever. (Side note- the cup of water you get after giving birth will be the best tasting water you have ever had.)

7. IPad- My only connection with the outside world for the first month. Great for propping on the boppy while your child nurses for AN HOUR AND A HALF ten to twelve time a day.

8. Belly Bandit- The bamboo version of this specifically, is the most comfortable way to help get you back to your normal shape after delivery. Take it to the hospital and put it on tight. You wouldn't believe how quickly my stomach muscles were looking back to normal.

9. Baby 411 and Baby Bargains- I am STILL using these books! They are wonderful for researching baby items and all the must-know info on baby care. They have a balanced and practical approach and cover anything and everything you might want to know about. I purchased the hard copies and the e-book versions.

Starting my Project Life book.

10. Project Life Scrapbook- The best baby book on the market. An easy way to put together an amazing baby scrapbook. You can put in any information you want, and they also include the traditonal baby book prompts of info you'd want to include. Pinterest is a great place to see these books. You can make them as crafty as you'd like, or keep it VERY simple like I do- either way it will look cute!

Uniform Laundry Day

11. Yoga Pants All day. Every day. Well, I don't go OUT in them. But at home? Heck yes! They fit from the day you come home from the hospital and allow you to crawl around with your toddler. What's not to love about yoga pants?

Oooo, and a bonus! I totally forgot about these. Another blogging friend (Sara!) shared these great tops from Target with me. They are much less expensive (and much more flattering) than normal nursing tops. (And they go great with yoga pants, FYI.) (I can't find the tees online, just the tanks, but they should be in store.)

What about you? What were your favorite things as a new mom? What about your favorites as an experienced mom? 

Share them with me!